


i can't save us

by tordze



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, Internal Conflict, M/M, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-31 09:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20791352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tordze/pseuds/tordze
Summary: As he sped down the highway, he found that he had finally learned the hard way that not everything can work itself out.Not all stories have a happy ending.





	i can't save us

Tord gazed down the long stretch of road outside the window, staring intently as fat droplets of rain splashed and formed puddles.

The sky was pitch black; only houses and street lights lit up the little neighborhood. There wasn't much to see out there, but then again, there wasn't much to do in here. 

He leaned against the couch's armrest, letting his eyelids droop a little as he stared. He couldn't help but think that the storm clouds roaring and crashing outside were nothing more than dust bunnies compared to the storm clouds in his mind.

The way that he had been feeling lately brought him back to being an angsty teen; the only difference was that he knew it this would be the one thing that hurt him the most in his entire life.

Maybe a half hour or so ago, perhaps an hour (Tord wasn't keeping a check on the time anyway), Edd came through the front door, carrying a few bags of groceries and stumbling tiredly to the kitchen to put them away.

Tord wanted to offer his help, but he couldn't bring himself to talk to Edd at the moment. His nerve wasn't there yet, and it would only hurt even more when he said what he had to. 

So, he sat there and waited, gazing sleepily out of the window as still as a statue.

Before long, Edd came into the living room and flopped down into his chair.

"Man, I'm really… drained." He said, seemingly half to himself. Tord nodded, averting his gaze futher.

"Yeah, I could kinda tell… You should try to rest more." He said, trying to sound less apathetic than he felt. He knew that Edd had been tired lately, and it was tearing him apart, because it was entirely his fault.

"Yeah… Things have just been crazy lately, but I'll be alright, you know?" Edd gave a small half-smile to Tord.

Tord tried to force one back, but all he could make out was a slight, stiff upturn of the corners of his mouth.

He ended up zoning out again; Edd had to snap him out of it, leaving him dazed and uncomfortable. 

"Tord, are you okay? You're acting really weird…" Edd furrowed his brows in that familiar way, only serving to make the pain in Tord's chest all the sharper.

"...Well, I'm okay. I just…" He hesitated, folding his arms over his chest. "I shouldn't have come back."

_Well, I can't just lie to him. I had to say something eventually,_ Tord thought. 

There was silence for a brief moment, before Edd asked, "Wh… What do you mean?" 

Tord chewed the inside of his cheek. "Ever since I've been back, it's caused nothing but trouble. You and Tom are always getting into it now, and Matt… Well, he barely leaves his room now. And it's all because Tom doesn't like me." 

"Tom doesn't not like you, he's just-"

"No, he hates me."

Edd didn't respond, rubbing his arm and looking at the ground. After a bit of mulling it over, he let out a small, "I can't speak for him, I guess." 

Tord sighed. "Exactly. It's not even your fault. It's mine."

"No, it's not your fault… Tord, I-"

"It is. Every time I spoke with you things were going great with the three of you, and now that I'm back, everything's gone to shit again. One way or another, I know you don't deserve to be treated like shit because he doesn't like me." Tord huffed, rubbing his temples before continuing, "And- and you really don't have to stand up for me. I don't care if he talks bad about me or treats me wrong."

"You should."

"I should do a lot of things. I should leave and that's what I plan on doing."

The silence, deafening as ever, came back. 

"...Tord, you… You don't have to leave. Look, Tom is our friend, he doesn't… I… I don't know what's wrong with him but it's not your fault, okay?" Edd tried to explain, crossing his arms over his chest.

Tord shook his head. 

"I already packed my things. I'm… sorry. For ruining your friendships."

Edd growled, putting a hand on his head. Without looking up, he replied, "You're not ruining anything. I'd choose you any day either way. I … love you." Edd took a deep breath, still unused to saying such things to Tord. "You don't have to go. Please?"

Once again, Tord shook his head. 

"I can't. I'm not worth losing Tom and Matt for. I have to go." He tried to sound as robotic as possible, failing only when his voice cracked on the last syllable. 

The two got up at nearly the same time, Tord walking off to go get his bags, Edd in tow to try to stop him.

"Wai- Wait!" Edd called out. "Please, Tord, just think on it some before you go!"

"I've thought about it all night. I'm not doing this because I want to leave. I'm doing this because I'm tired of ruining you life."

"You- you aren't ruining my life, you dumbass! Don't say that kind of shit!" 

Tord ignored Edd, brushing past him on the way out the door.

He opened the front door, turning back one last time to look at Edd. 

"Sorry about everything. I love you too. Try to forget about me."

And before Edd could snap out of the shocked state he was in, Tord was in his car and driving off.

In the car, Tord found himself shaking and in a cold sweat. He had barely anywhere to go, but it would be fine.

In the end, Edd would find someone deserving of him.

As he sped down the highway, he found that he had finally learned the hard way that not everything can work itself out. 

_Not all stories have a happy ending._

**Author's Note:**

> this is a vent fic based on feelings ive been having lately and bad thoughts about stuff from yrs ago that im overthinking. yeah boyyyy


End file.
